Managing Expectations During the Waiting Period in Surrogacy
For intended parents hoping to grow their families, surrogacy can bring up a range of different emotions — especially during the waiting periods between key milestones. While the anticipation can be nerve-wracking, it’s important to remember that while you’re waiting, your team will be busy working behind the scenes to ensure a happy, healthy, well-organized experience for everyone involved.
Behind the Scenes: Why Major Surrogacy Milestones Often Take Time
The surrogacy process is a complex, multifaceted journey encompassing various medical, legal, and financial elements. To keep things running smoothly and create as stress-free an experience as possible, every step must be done with great care to protect the health and well-being of intended parents and surrogates alike.
While certain steps may move quickly, more complex actions — such as surrogate matching, medical screenings, and legal agreements — can take more time. This thoroughness helps ensure success by making certain everything is done safely, lawfully, and with utmost care for all parties.
Your surrogacy agency will help you navigate every stage of the process with compassion and clarity, so you can stay informed about what’s happening and avoid any surprises along the way.
How Intended Parents Can Cope with Pauses in the Surrogacy Process
When you’re ready to grow your family and realize your dreams of parenthood, waiting can feel difficult and anxiety-inducing. Positive coping mechanisms, self-care, and healthy communication with both your agency and your surrogate can make the pauses in the process much less stressful.
Create a network of people you can rely on for different needs during this unique experience. Whether you’re pursuing surrogacy with a partner on your own, it’s crucial to have people in your life you can turn to for support. Your family, friends, loved ones, and larger community may play different roles at different times throughout your journey; for example, you may turn to certain friends for distraction and humor, while others you may talk to at length about your journey.
Therapy can also be incredibly helpful, offering a dedicated, safe space to dive into your feelings around the surrogacy process. Therapists will be able to offer professional guidance in navigating surrogacy and finding healthy, constructive ways to deal with challenging emotions. Your surrogacy agency coordinators may offer therapy sessions specifically aimed at intended parents or be able to recommend someone well-suited to your needs.
Establishing healthy, regular communication with your agency coordinators and your surrogate can also help lessen feelings of anxiety and worry. Your dedicated coordinator will often serve as a liaison between you and other parties, such as your surrogacy attorney, doctor, and surrogate. Your coordinator will be available for questions and should be able to assist with any concerns you may have.
Once you’ve found your surrogate match, you’ll be able to establish expectations around frequency and mode of communication, which is typically outlined in detail within the surrogacy contract. Most intended parents and surrogates maintain regular check-ins and updates, whether through calls, emails, texts, or in-person meet-ups. You’ll also be able to discuss expectations around your attendance at the surrogate’s doctor’s appointments and ensure you’re on the same page.
Although the surrogacy process can be emotionally demanding, remember to take care of yourself and make time for what makes you happy. Maintaining hobbies, socializing, pursuing professional goals, and catching up with loved ones can help create a feeling of balance and fulfillment.
Worth the Wait: Why the Pauses in the Surrogacy Process Are So Important
Although periods of waiting feel nerve-wracking, it’s important to remember that there are actually many critical actions going on behind the scenes during this apparent downtime.
Once you’ve told your agency what you’re looking for in a gestational surrogate, for example, you’ll usually have a bit of a wait as the agency looks for potential matches. This helps to ensure you’re paired with someone who is well-suited to your expectations, temperament, and lifestyle.
During legal processes, as well, you’ll likely have a waiting period as the drafting of the surrogacy contract takes place. After working with your attorney on the specifics of the contract, the surrogate and her own attorney will have a chance to review it and suggest any changes. These kinds of edits and negotiations can take time to finalize, but are crucial for ensuring a harmonious experience.
Although the lulls you experience on your end may feel slow and frustrating, keep in mind that a lot is going on behind the scenes as your team works meticulously to ensure every step is completed with thoroughness and care. This helps safeguard your health, safety, and well-being, as well as that of your surrogate and your future child.
Learn More About the Surrogacy Process
Pursuing surrogacy to achieve your dreams of parenthood requires a unique combination of patience and perseverance. At West Coast Surrogacy, we understand the complexities of the process and are proud to have helped thousands of intended parents grow their families. While the waiting periods throughout the journey may seem slow, they play a critical role in facilitating a smooth, safe, and successful surrogacy experience. To learn more about the surrogacy process and see how you can get started, reach out to the expert team at West Coast Surrogacy today.
