Tips for Developing an Amazing Surrogate-Intended Parent Relationship

Published on Thursday July 28th, 2022 by WCS

One of the most exciting parts about the matching process within gestational surrogacy is that you’re so close to being connected with either the person who will help build your family or the intended parents whose dreams you’ll help to come true. Each party enters into this relationship with high hopes for having a positive experience.

If you’d like to learn more about how the matching process works, including how everyone’s wishes are taken into account ahead of starting a surrogacy agreement, please visit here. Today we want to focus on how to develop an amazing relationship throughout the surrogacy journey.

Three Ways to Maintain a Great Surrogate-Intended Parent Relationship

Establish Communication Methods Early On

Agreeing to the frequency and method of communication throughout a surrogacy arrangement is determined during the matching stage to ensure everyone is happy with the style of back-and-forth that will proceed. Phone calls, video calls, texts, emails, etc. are all great ways of keeping in touch and providing updates on the pregnancy. If both parties are in agreement, many intended parents arrange to meet up with their surrogate and her family from time to time. It can feel a little awkward getting to know someone who will be such an important part of your life, for both sides, but once the ball gets rolling, it’s much easier to form a comfortable routine, which many times develops into a beautiful, respectful relationship.

Understand the Importance of Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries or areas that they are not necessarily comfortable pushing past. These comfort areas are talked about during the matching process to ensure that a match is made between two compatible parties. It’s important to respect the terms of these agreements so that no one feels like they are being asked to do something they aren’t happy to do. It’s rare that conflict arises between matched parties because the process is so specific to finding a compatible pairing, but it always helps to understand that we’re all unique, we all have different understandings and beliefs. To have a healthy, respect and compromise are essential.

Remember to Check-In Frequently

We all have many responsibilities within our daily lives that we’re held accountable for day after day. It can be easy to forget to check in with your surrogate or intended parents, even when you’re so excited about the pregnancy. It’s important to keep this relationship a priority in your life, especially as the baby grows and develops. Many surrogates and intended parents will even share a specific pregnancy calendar they’re all in the loop about doctor appointments and important milestones.

Whether you’re an intended parent or a gestational surrogate, the surrogacy journey is deeply personal and bound to result in an inherently close relationship. The three tips outlined in this post can help you create a relationship that is one of mutual respect and comfortable for all involved.